Team USA announced, entire country forced to root for Kobe

Fairweather Lakers fans, diehard Lakers fans, and Americans alike, will now all be forced to root for Kobe Bryant in the upcoming 2008 Olympic games in Beijing. Whether you've booed him in the past (or at the beginning of the regular season if you are a Lakers fan), you will be forced to swallow any disdain and root for the man the media has dubbed, "greatest player in the league." So light a candle, play John Lennon's "Imagine," do whatever you have to do; it's time to unite the country and regain USA Basketball's spot at the top. In your face, Jorge Garbosa. (He just seemed like the appropriate Euro player to taunt. Not really sure why.)

Here, I'll start liking Kobe now by saying this: I am really glad he is on the team. We really do need him. We need all the help we can get, and Kobe was dominant in last summer's qualifying tournament.

Rounding out the 12-man are Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Carmelo Anthony, Jason Kidd, Tayshaun Prince, Carlos Boozer, Chris Bosh, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul, Michael Redd, and Deron Williams.

I'm also very glad to have these NBA stars aboard--although I'm concerned with our lack of depth down low. Luckily, the international game doesn't present too many dominant big men. Although, they did run into Sofoklis "Baby Shaq" Schortsanitis a few summers ago in the 2006 FIBA World Championship, and had a tough time. As long as Howard and Boozer can stay out of foul trouble we should be victorious. Although, the whole "Russian judge" thing does exist in international competition, unfortunately, so expect a few questionable calls. (You'll forget all about Tim Donaghey.)

Yes, it's time to rally behind Team USA and root them on to the gold medal. I, for one, am both excited and nervous, knowing that if we can't win it this year...well...I'm not sure what else we need to do.

Hopefully, Kobe and Team USA won't run into the team from Ireland though. (Get it? Because he just lost to the "Celtics" in the NBA Finals.) The Irish don't even have a team in the Olympics this year, but I'd be nervous if they did. Especially, if their top 3 players were Devin Garnett, Saul Pierce, and Jay Allen. Obviously, this is completely unrealistic. "Garnett" and "Pierce" are names of English origin, and "Allen" is a Scottish name. None of them would be allowed on the team.

In closing, USA! USA! USA!