Thursday, December 28, 2006

Get Ready to Ball With Dental Care

Hayfield Dental Care. It's fan-tastic!

You ever heard of Hayfield Dental Care? No? You ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light? My point exactly...I think.

Hayfield Dental care is awesome! The residents of Alexandria (and it's surrounding parts) know about that. They've known about that since 1987. What you know about that? They've covered 23,000 different patients in their existence!!!! That's a lot. That's Michael Jordan's number x 1,000!!! All the dentists there have advanced or specialty training. They can do just about any procedure needed, right there! And they use only the most advanced, up-to-date materials and equipment. Patients get the best! General? Family? Cosmetic? All those types of dentistry can be done. And they have a full-time Orthodontist on staff!! Boo-yah! (Consultations at no extra charge.)

Check them out. The people in Virginia like them a lot, especially there history of NO COMPLAINTS!

The Bulls Think "Good Shepherd" Sucks

Gosh damn it did that suck! After a great Christmas morning and afternoon in West Palm Beach, FL, my family and I realized that it had been a pretty quick Christmas, as far as Christmases go in our family, so we all decided to be like, unprecendeted and see an evening movie.Our Top 3 choices (that none of us had seen)? The Good Shepherd, Rocky Balboa, Pursuit of Happyness.The vote winner? The Good Shepherd.The result? Horrible.What a piece of shit that ended up being. "The Godfather of CIA movies"? WTF??? More like the "Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot of CIA movies." Actually...not even that good.I'm pissed too because I was really, really excited about this movie. It takes a lot to get me excited about a movie, solely based off a trailer, and this one had accomplished it. Now, I see the trailer on TV and get pissed off that anybody could try to sell this movie the way they are and sleep at night. The only thing this film had to do with The Godfather is Robert De Niro and he was hardly in the film. He just directed it...unfortunately. (Sorry Bob, still a fan though.)I'm not even going to get into the negative light this film paints the CIA in, or the fact that Matt Damon basically gets raped by Angelina Jolie in it, or the fact that the story isn't really even based on facts at all.But I will give you a breakdown of the performances of all the BIG STARS in this film. They sell this thing as a star-studded blockbuster, yet half of the people they show in the trailer are barely in the film. And let's get this straight, nobody "stars" in this film. So without giving away the "plot" (I guess there is one.), here we go:Robert De Niro: Directs the film and plays the role of some CIA dude in a wheelchair. He's barely in the film and doesn't seem to even fit the role. He's role in "Meet The Parents" was way better.Joe Pesci: Joe Pesci appears in this film for exactly 2 seconds and says the word "nigger," for no apparent reason, except to maybe feed off of some of the media buzz Michael Richards got. His character seemed like he could have been the most interesting in the film, yet I have no idea who he even is. Oh yeah, and he's Italian. It's a stretch.Alec Baldwin: ??? Oh yeah...he was in the film. He plays an FBI guy who shows up every once in a while and acts like Alec Baldwin.William Hurt: Pretty good performance, but he plays a criminal in the CIA basically. Hollywood portraying government officials as criminals? No way. That's revolutionary.Angelina Jolie: I guess her performance is pretty good, but it doesn't help the film and she rapes Matt Damon and gets pregnant.Matt Damon: The lead. I guess a pretty good performance as well, but not entertaining and for somebody in the CIA, he sure seems to be lead around by everybody in the world by one of those kid leashes. He also performs in a play, dressed in drag and singing like a girl. He immediately receives an offer to join the infamous "Skull & Bones" fraternity in his dressing room afterwards. It reminded me of Team America. Also, him dressing up like a girl and singing has nothing to do with his character, at all, for the rest of the film. He acts like a librarian the rest of the film.So yeah. It sucked--and I don't use that word lightly. Also, the actor who plays Matt Damon's son is a really creepy pants pee-er and I think is actually older than Matt Damon. Trust me--it will all make sense when you don't see it.

Christmas in Dublin, Ohio Dog

Ha ha. Just kidding. I'm not spending Christmas in Dublin, Ohio. I don't even know where that is. Are you kidding me? No. I'm kidding you. I forgot for a second. Anyway, Dublin is in Ireland anyway. I don't know why the people of Ohio named a city "Dublin," thinking they were going to fool everybody as to what country it is. Ha! Dumb.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Software and Stuffz

IT Value Management Software dog.

Acorn Systems dog They enable meaningful stuff. You can check out everything in regards to your business performance. It's sweet. Because they combins methodology that works with a highly scalable and sustainable software platform yo!

The system helps companies get where they want to be by giving them the foundation to facilitate good decisions. They always want to improve profits, supply chain efficiencies and cost allocation. But did I mention that they also want cost reduction? They deliver the next generation too, which is Activity Based Costing (ABC) solutions that provide the highest value at the lowest total cost of ownership.

With their awesome solutions you can measure, optimize and predict costs, net operating profits, EVA, capacity and resources at any level of granularity such as by customer, supplier, product, facility, transaction and more stuff! Awesome! Every employee ther is focused on helping their customers improve profits and reduce the costly stuff. That's ALL they do man is focus!! You can be a multi-national corporation. You could be a organization of government. You could be a medium-sized business (but not small) and they will help you all! Start improving the results of your organization now man!

Awesome man.

I am so awesome man. You know why? I am so awesome man. You know why? Oops, I said that trifling thing again. Did I spell trifling right? Probably not. Who cares. Destiny's Child used the word in a song. It's officially gay anyway. I'll never use it again. Just like that trendy Ed Hardy Hollywood shirt I wore one time. It's retired. But not retired in the Michael Jordan sense...because that's way cooler. Similar to the Jay-Z retirement though.

Drunk Blogger Christmas

I haven't called myself Drunk Blogger in almost 4 month. Good thing? Yes. But you know what. It's Christmas gosh darn it. And if there is a better title than "Drunk Blogger Christmas," I'd like to see it. I sure as heck don't believe it. Shit. I mean...shooott. So Merry Christmas everybody--from our drunk blogger family to your drunk blogger family.

We can't all be drunk all the time. We can't all be bloggers all the time. It can't always be Christmas. But, it can be Drunk Blogger Christmas whenever your heart is in the right place. Happy Holidays!

Plastic Surgery California!...Bulls Fans

I am wondering about Plastic Surgery California. You know why?

You know how Rodeo Drive has "boutiques" for clothing? Well guess what? Know they have one for skin. No silly. Not skin you wear. Skin you live in! It's right next to Chanel, Armani and Hugo Boss too...so you know it's designer.

Listen to Dr. Lloyd Krieger...no that's not on a t-shirt. Here is what he has to say, "Our medical center looks more like a boutique than a doctor's office." Bam! There it is. It's 5,000 square feet. It's at 421 North Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. What more do you need? Words to describe it? Luxurous, inviting, soothing. What else? Awesome!

They offer great service and medical expertise. Here is what one of Dr Krieger's patients said, “Rodeo Drive Plastic Surgery has the aesthetic sense of an artist, of someone I’d want to work on me.” Isn't that special? He does it all...nips, tucks, lifts. The three ntl's. Stay youthful for years to come!!!...until you get old of course.

Plastic surgery is the first step in improving your physical image if you don't like it. Dr. Krieger takes it a step further. No, not stalking. He has a large professional network that he uses to offer his patients new wardrobe at nearby shops, nearby hairstyle and spa treatments and a new fitness regime. It's the complete package! They specialize in all aspect of PSY (plastic surgery yo). Breat augmentation? Bam! Tummy tucks? Bam! Liposuction? Bam! Facial rejuvenation?? You bet your ass...I mean face! haha. Awesome!

Oops...Trott Felipe Farted

The age-old question has been solved. Except...instead of a tree falling in the woods...Trott Felipe farted...in the woods...and nobody heard it.So forget about science, experiments, control group, experiment groups, beekers, bunson burners and all that stuff that really has nothing to do with this--Trott has solved it. Trott went out in the woods "Hollywood Hills," and farted. Nobody heard it. And coming from a huge international star like Trott, you know that's unheard of. Not the fart. The idea that nobody heard it. So there you have it. Case closed.

Merry Christmas...Trott Felipe Style

Get ready for Christmas. Jingle Bells. Captain Crunch on a string of thread. Popcorn in your egg nog. Christmas trees, upside down, hanging from the ceiling of a trendy Hollywood club. We've got it all yo. It's sickness and health at it's best. Word. Merry Christmas everybody...from the folks at Trott World Entertainment (TWE). So awesome ya'll. So awesome. :)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Increase Your Link Popularity...Just Like High School!

Man...you need to increase link popularity homie.

You really do.

But you've got to understand Google to do it, as well as other search engines and all the options you have for increasing traffic and link pop. Google's algorithm is nutso. They drive most results organically. They are much more complex than other search engines. They look at website's on-site factors and off-site factors, then they do their ranking.The offsite factors are roughly 35 to 45% of the importance to Google’s algorithm. Page rank isn't as big of a deal in Google's rankings as people think. It still matters, but since you can manipulate that shit, Google doesn't focus on it as much. They focus on links from other sites, going to your site. It's much better getting good links from sites with good page rank. The quality of the page that the link is on relative to your website and/or page it is directed to is very important. People forget that.

And Google even looks at the link and where it's placed. If it's in the context, it's much better than if it's at the bottom of the page.Google also looks at the text that surrounds the link and determines how targeted that text is compared to the page that the link points to. Damn yo, maybe I should have paid attention in math class instead of writing freestyle raps.Some other things they consider and look at, Title Tag, H1 Tags and other META data. You better keep that shit in mind honky. Latent Symantec Indexing is also a new thing being tested. It determines how words relate to each other. Pretty crazy right? The factors that LSI looks at are the Title Tag and the textual content of the page that your link is on. What it all boils down to, is the most important thing is getting people to link to your site. The more the better. Mainly, people explore press release distribution, purchasing links from link brokers, reciprocal linking and link baiting.What they realize is, Press release distribution is the best way but it's also the most difficult because your press release can't be boring. It has to draw people in. You can purchase links from link brokers. But you may get bullshit links doing that, at the bottom of the page.Exchanging links used to be a good way, but now, not so much. It's not as big of a deal. Link baiting is good, but very difficult as well. With link baiting, you hunt out links, and bring the links to you through unique, popular site content. It's like, the natural way to do it.

But, as we have seen with Web 2.0 so far, the best way to increase link popularity is through Blogs. It just is.

They are naturally filled with good content, and you can talk about the links in the posts. If a blog links to something you are talking about on your site, you are set. You would need thousands of these to make a difference in your rankings, but this is how it would work. You need links from hundreds or even thousands of Blogs with the exact same concept and then you will see significant improvements in your rankings and the more popular the word, the more linking you will need. You can't do this yourself, unless you create hundreds and thousands of blogs, which would be insane and not work very well.That's why we have Blogitive though. They have more than 2000 blogs in their network. You can release a mini-press release through Blogitive and bloggers will get paid to write about it. It will definitely help with traffic.

Check it out.

Did you read that last post?

I hope you did because I was serious. I am so awesome that the world has prounounced me King. But only if I throw the sickest afterhours parties, serve Cristal and bang hot broads. If not...my license is revoked. And yes, they hand out licenses to be King of the world. They hand them out at your local DMV. Check into it. But not until I retire. Which will be never. So good luck. Sucker.

Chicago Bulls Blogger Finds Out He Owns The World

Hi. I'm Drunk Blogger. Did you know I own the world? No seriously. I do. How awesome is that? I'll tell you how awesome. Totally. Want to know something else? I own it all. I'm the President of the world, also known as King. And I'm not talkin' burgers here chap. I'm talking kamikaze rap. Wait...no I'm not. Oh well. Work it girl, work it.

Capella U!!!

Listen to Kanye West. Drop out of school and get your online master degree instead.

Actually...Kanye West never said that but Trott Felipe should have and this place is in Chicago.

It's called Capella University and it is changing education. It was founded all the way back in 1993 and is an accredited (key word) online university. What are you looking to take? Business, information technology, education, human services, psychology? Word. They have graduate programs and bachelor degree programs. But wait...therree'sss more! (LOL moment)Within that, they have 76...count em'...76 graduate AND undergraduate specializations and...16 certificiate specializations! How many students do they have you ask? 16,000 yo! ...and from all 50 states and....wait for it...63 countries! Boo-yah!

They are owned by the Capella Education Company which is sick in it's own right, and it in Minneapolis mayne. So check them out at capella.edu man. Do it. They also are a member of the North Central Association of Colleges and Schools in...Chi-town!!! Bam!

Bulls To The Future

Yo, check it honky. You ever been cruising down the 405, hair gelled up, neon green sunglasses held tight by an elastic ban, high-top Nike sneakers tied tight, feelin' fresh as a mutha fucka after watching Saved By The Bell, Back To The Future II and takin' a shower? Yeah homie...let the good feelings roll. Blast from the past? Nah, blast from the present after you went back in a Deloreon time machine homie. Peace.

New Bulls Fight Song

You ready to throw? You ready to fight? You ready to rumble? Tonight? You ready to battle? You ready for fisticuffs? You ready to saddle...up? And get thrown under the bus? You ready to get smashed? You ready to get crunk? You ready to get mashed? You ready to get drunk? You ready to hit it? You ready to get busy? You ready to quit it? You ready and in the hizzy? Ahh yeah...keep rappin' my people of the world...keep rapping. Just kidding.

Send Flowers...Like the Chicago Bulls

The Chicago Bulls send flowers. Do you?

What's the occasion? Doesn't matter. Dot Flowers has great flower gift ideas and beauitful gourmet gift baskets for absolutely anyone on your list! Guess what else? Same day flower delivery! (for stuff designed in yoru local floral shop)...or even field fresh delivery from grower's farms to anywhere in the good ol' USA mayne! Looking for gift baskets online? They have tons with gourmet treats that will definitely please! Flowers! Cookies! All good!

They have a really sweet customer service department too that will make sure it's all good. They won't cuss you out like Air Tran or never call you back like AAA California! Send them today!

They are committed to being the best. The best flowers. The best gifts. The best cookies. The best service. The best period.

Professional and personal--they help you make a great impression.

Trott Needs Sleep For the Bulls' Sake

It's midnight. So what do I do? I stay awake. I have to get up at 7:30 AM. Shit I'm screwed mayne. Not good. I need sleep and a headache I have. And too much to do. Shit. In a way though...it's all good. Who cares? I'm being productive as ish right now. So that's good. Trott Felipe ya'll. Trott Felipe. Now I need sleep.

Go Bulls!

Get it Going Bulls

You know why? Because I'm awesome. It's time for the re-incarnation of my inclination. The foundation of my sensation. The ation of my ation. Get ready for some more ation words for me soon. If you don't hear them...I feel sorry for you man. I gots me some stuffz goingz onz man.

And the Bulls are just like me...underachieving...but not for long.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Back Links

Have you always wondered how to build back links?

The business world is gaining knowledge on how to optimize sites but Google has also gotten better at getting rid of tricks and techniques to increase ratings in a BS way. Nobody is really calling USWeb these days with general questions about SEO. They don't need to because they all know already. The really technical people just want to know how to get more links to their site. Which makes sense and is obviously one of the most effective things to do.

Want to test it? Search for “click here” in Google. Guess who is number one? Adobe. Why? A ton of people have linked to the Adobe page with a link that says, “To download Adobe Acrobat click here”. But where is "click here" on the page? Nowhere.

There is also Google Bombing. Search in Google for “miserable failure”. The first of the results is a bio for President George W. Bush. But he wouldn't put that term in his own, personal bio. How did it happen? By the power of nerds. A blogger told all his bloggin' buddies to link to the page with that as the anchor text. This all shows how important back links are to the Google mojo stuff.

So how do you build back links? First, don't do this:

1. Do not buy links from any program that offers you thousands of links to your website for a fee. Link farms=BS. Your site could even get in trouble.

2. Do not participate in a reciprocal link program where you email Spam people asking them to swap links with you. You won't get good quality. Not a good idea.

3. Do not use link brokers who put your link in the footer or off to the side of sites. Bad news and Google even has a policy in place for webmasters to understand how to not get their site penalized by these links by using a nofollow tag.

4. Be careful on paying monthly for links. It's almost like extortion because you'll have to keep paying or the links will go away and then your rankings will drop.

But what should you do? Well...first of all...Google's algorithm was written by two college students back in the day. They based it on the academic world and stuff. Write a paper, cite a source. Then the source makes that credit and authority on the subject. The more you cite a source--the more trusted it becomes. Makes sense right? It's the main way Google deals with links. The more web pages that link back--the totally more sick (trusted) the authority. Then they determine what search term is in charge of this.

Here are some of those filters:

1. The anchor text of the link. This is the text that is linked to the page. Search engines can read this text and apply the information to their filter.

2. The title of the page linking to you. Smart search engines will look at the title of the page that is linking to you as an indicator as to the subject of the page so the subject is linked accordingly.

3. The keyword density of the page linking to you. Search engines can find words that are heavily used on a page to help determine what the page is about. And they apply a LSI filter to help determine similar words. This allows the search engine to understand that terms like LCD, DLP and HDTV are all about "television."

So how to you get good, irreverant links to your site yo? Identify the terms you want to rank for, come up with like, similar terms that people use naturally and place those terms in like ten different phrases. Remember, these are not just "search terms," but real phrases people might say. So how do you get people to link to you?

1. Directory submissions – Google crawls directories like Yahoo and DMOZ all the time. You can also get good links from Business.com and paid services. Be picky though so you don't get involved in link farms.

2. Friends and family – This is pretty much common sense, but a lot of people don't really think about it.

3. Vendors and partners – If you are paying a vendor money every month, why not try and get a link on their site to you. It's a small favor to ask.

4. Press releases – This is very tough and even tougher to get the press to link to you, but it's magic when they do.

5. Link baiting – Link baiting tactics are things like writing nice articles, controversial stuff or giveaways.

6. Find current articles about your subject – Smaller sites may link to you.

7. Use a system like Blogitive – Blogitive allows you to post a press release through their system, and that release is picked up by thousands of bloggers. When a blogger decides to write an article about your press release, and link to your site, you pay $20. This is a one-time fee, so you don’t have a reoccurring cost to maintain rankings.

Don't go crazy with links though. Start off slow and then build more and more, like a house. You need a strong foundation mayne.

My Attitude Problem

You want to know why? Because it's full of idiots. The cream of the crop rises to the top, but the problem is, my shit isn't on the stove yet. That probably makes no sense, as it shouldn't. But here is one thing that you might understand: Fuck you pay me. Overworked. Underpaid. Not getting any younger. The time is now. The time is now. Today is the day and I'll find the way. I'm bored though.

The Chicago Bulls' Favorite Team Fable

"Between the North Wind and the Sun, they say, a contest of this sort arose, to wit, which of the two would strip the goatskin from a farmer plodding on his way. The North Wind first began to blow as he does when he blows from Thrace, thinking by sheer force to rob the wearer of his cloak. And yet no more on that account did he, the man, relax his hold; instead he shivered, drew the borders of his garment tight about him every way, and rested with his back against a spur of rock. Then the Sun peeped forth, welcome at first, bringing the man relief from the cold, raw wind. Next, changing, he turned the heat on more, and suddenly the farmer felt too hot and of his own accord threw off the cloak, and so was stripped. Thus was the North Wind beaten in the contest. And the story means [ µ]: 'Cultivate gentleness, my son; you will get results oftener by persuasion than by the use of force.'"(11)

Chicago Bulls--is there anything better?

Apple Pie. Hot Dogs. World's Fairs 1939-1982. Ferris Wheels. Summer Carnivals. Smokin' Hot Babes. Are any of these things better or more American than the Bulls? Well...maybe smokin' hot babes, but besides that, no.

How awesome are the Bulls right now? About as awesome as an 11-10 team can be. I mean, let's be serial. They are awesome.

How all-American are they? About as All-American as a team with a lot of international players can be. Ellis Island baby. Ellis Island. And I'm not talknig about Monta Ellis or New York. Wait...what am I talking about then??

Bulls Atone For Losing

Did I spell "atone" right? The answer? Who cares.

What I do care about is the fact that the Bulls beat the Indiana Pacers last night and are now 11-10, above .500 and passed the Pacers in the standings in the Central Division of the Eastern Conference. That's what I atone for man. That's what I atone for.

-Atone Jackson

Monday, December 11, 2006

Chicago Bulls Should Play With Swords

Real Bros. buy Swords bros.

I've always wanted a sword. I thought it was too late for me. Now I know it's not.

If you are looking for resonably priced or expensive sets, now is the time. Don't forget executive gifts either. This totally sick site, KarateDepot.com does it. They have almost 100 different swords yo! And that includes...of course...samurai swords mayne. How sweet is that? You can buy collectibles or the more practical. It's all there. A lot of the practical ones are Japanese...old style...hand-forged. Seriously Trott? Yeah. Seriously. We are talking thousand-year-old-Asian-style. High quality for any kind of sword collector. How sweet is that? Word.

Check it out by Dec. 13th for a $2.95 holiday delivery too. That would fall under the category of "awesome," in my venn diagram.

Bulls Win Again

Bulls beat the Pacers tonight. Awesome. Now they can finally move up in the Central Division of the Eastern Conference. At least they are above .500. It's not pretty, but at least it looks like they will be capable of something this season. We still need Greg Oden or Joakim Noah though. I wish Commssioner David Stern made that whole 20-year-old age requirement a year later. Then again, Noah would still be in school. But you all know that ish.

Get ready for it though. You know it's going to happen. Noah versus Oden in the NCAA Championship.

Bloggers blog!!!

It's what I do!

What if that was my catchphrase? How lame would that be? Really lame. Let me tell ya folks...really lame.

You know what my catchphrase is? Fuck you pay me. That's right. It's fuck you pay me. Now everybody dance. I'm so serial yall. So cereal. So serious. Uhhh!!!!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Ties You Can Wear

I like Belisi ...but then again--who doesn't?

You don't? Dumb.

This guy started as a bartender in Palm Beach where he served the trendsetters and learned a lot from them. He wanted their lifestyle. He struggled to support his family and had no....can't em...no savings. What did he do? What would you do in a situation like that?He started a business and emulated his really, really rich clients at the bar. He invested extra money in a...wait for it...wait for it...tie collection.Bam! So now his co-workers and drunks he served were looking to him for inspiration. You serious bro? Yeah. He never wore the same tie twice--something that had never been done in the history of men before--only females! And because he liked these ties, he came up with an idea--a tie idea. What was it? I mean...what is it? The Belisi Brand!!!! Hey-yo!!!What do they do? They enhance luxury wardrobes and make the world a better place. Belisi-beautiful man/woman (like man/child), is good. They have awesome ties, scarves and handbags yo. When you wear his stuff you get fashion, good-looking stuff...and you help fight poverty, protect the environment, seek justice and fund medical research. And you make the Belisi name famous!! Simply, Belisi stands for good living yall.

Here is what this homie says ya'll, “Belisi unites the luxury and prestige of Palm Beach with Italian beauty and sophistication. Inside Belisi we cultivate a passion for exquisite materials and skilled craftsmanship. Each dramatic detail, represents our unwavering quest to fashion products of truly enduring value.” – Peter BelisiIsn't that awesome? I think it is. And so does Peter Belisi and James Belushi!!! Word.

Chicago Bulls Kicking Ass Right Now

The Chicago Bulls are killing the Philadelphia 76ers right now. It's unbelievable. Or should I say...unBULLivable...ja ja ja, ha ha, he he, te he, hey-yo! You got any gum?

So what's going to happen in the second half? Well...I hope this isn't the case...but...I have a feeling the 76ers will get back into it by the beginning of the 4th quarter, making a blowout a close game, but the Bulls will ultimately win by 10 at least. Let's see how wrong I am.

Ben Wallace Just Got Screwed On A Call

A referee in the NBA Bulls vs. Sixer game just called a BS foul on Ben Wallace. It was total BS. You know what this reminds me of? Hillary Rodham-Clinton. A woman sonomous with BS. I think she should run for BS President in the next election. It can be a special election, just for her. She can win, but then she will live in a Playskool White House, where nothing really works, but she thinks it does and thinks she is President.